So I guess this is my first official, official blog post on ReverieLove.com. I have written on other blog sites before throughout the years & was stupid enough to delete most of my old entries so I guess I'm starting a new diary here..
I'm sitting in the studio right now with Louden & Enkrypt. Enkrypt is finalizing the coloring on my #WESTSIDE music video right now. I am hearing snippets of every part of the video over & over as she perfects the images & I am getting more excited with every second that passes.
I worked on cutting up this fucking video for days.. I started over about 4 times before I finally liked what I was making. It's always so challenging cutting music videos because it is so tedious & time consuming; however, it's something I really enjoy doing.
I love directing music videos. I love making visuals.
When I was growing up, my dad used to film me & my brothers so much. He loves documenting life. Maybe that's where I get it from. My dad actually made my first music video ever, Certified Fuck Up, when I was 18. He's super artsy. When I was really little, my brothers & I used to make lil home videos with his cameras. We would act out stories or scenes that we would imagine.
I always wanted to direct music videos but I never thought I would actually do it one day. I love bringing my visuals to life. I've directed/ co-directed almost all of my music videos. 1 thing I regret in my career is not giving myself credit on them. Back then I didn't realize how important it is to me that people know how involved I am with everything I release.
I haven't released a solo single since last December, which means it has been a full year now. In the world of today, for most people, that would be career suicide. Despite not releasing new music, I am at the peak of my career & on fire like never before. I feel like people don't just love my music anymore, they love me, they love who I am off the record as well, they love me as a person, as a friend, as the only one who understands them.. I used to think I was so alone with all the negative emotions & trauma I have endured in my life, but ever since I started to make music, & the more supporters I accumulate all over the world, the more I'm realizing that we are all going through very similar ups & downs in life. I have never felt more connected to people & the universe as I do today.
I often laugh at the irony of my existence, like, I hated myself for the first 25 years of my life. I hated who I was, I hated who I was before that, I hated myself so much that I never allowed myself to be happy, cuz I felt I didn't deserve happiness. The ironic shit here, is that the reason people love me is because they love who I am. I hate me. You love me cuz I'm honest about hating me. I just think it's hella funny. I've learned to laugh a lot more at life this last year. I've learned that you can either get offended or laugh- at every single fucking thing that comes your way. I've learned that choosing to laugh is a lot better lol.
I love my life now. Not everyday. Not every second. I still hate it sometimes to the point that I wish I had the balls to end it. Sometimes I get scared that I might just do it this time. Every day is different. But regardless of the hard times, I am realizing that I can't get the good times without the bad. It's impossible. It's the paradox of life. It's the balance of life. It's the ying & the yang. It's night & day. It's black & white, it's beauty & ugliness. You can't have ANYTHING in the universe without also experiencing its counterpart. I've learned & accepted & bowed down to this concept. Life has been a lot more enjoyable since I discovered this truth.
I wrote a lot more than I intended so I'm bout to cut this short. My new shit is about to blow you guys away. I'm so proud of me & my team & our progress. Big ups to Folcal Records, it's official.
'WEST SIDE' my 1st official single from DAS KLEINE drops tomorrow at 5pm. Enkrypt & I directed & edited the entire thing ourselves & Louden pimped it out with the special effects. Enjoy.